Inez.pngPhoto courtesy: Inez Kristianti

“When you see limitless options, you are facing ‘The Paradox of Choice’,” Inez Kristanti said. American social psychologist Barry Schwartz first coined the term. It describes consumer indecisiveness facing abundant choices in a market economy, which could help explain the challenge that people experience during dating in the digital realm these days. “On one side, dating apps give the convenience to meet many new potential dates that people were not used to. On the other hand, the seemingly limitless options could potentially make people feel indecisive about choosing a partner.” The underlying premise of the paradox is the difficulty to decide amid many options. “When it comes to online dating, people could think that there will be better ones and keep on scrolling,” she said.

Even among those who use dating apps, it does not instantly mean that no one has any interest in committed relationships. “Of course, we can see from a macro perspective that the existence of dating apps today may, or may not, affect the general outlook regarding commitment. Some people have committed to take their relationship from dating apps to the next step,” Kristanti said. “At the end of the day, it is a personal matter, and it cannot be generalized. What also matters is whether you are willing to put in the effort to build and maintain a healthy relationship.”

Here are Inez’s tops for building and maintaining healthy relationship:

  1. Do you have compatibility of vision with your partner? Do you have the same views regarding what constitutes a meaningful relationship? Talk about where you and your partner stand on important things.
  2. Conflict resolution is a lifelong lesson to master since there is no way to avoid them in a relationship. You can only handle and manage them wisely.
  3. Build intimacy with trust and respect for each other's individuality. Besides trust, a healthy degree of boundaries between you and your partner is necessary, especially when it comes to sensitive issues.
  4. To foster couple growth, accept things that cannot be changed from you and your partner. However, take responsibility of what you can improve from yourself, and support each other in his or her own growth.